Sounds very Buddha-like, doesn’t it?
Yet to live mindfully, to live well, is an idea steeped in Christian tradition.
When I unschool mindfully, we seem to have better relationships. When I get too busy and leave the kids solely to their own devices ~ get this done, do some Maths, watch a DVD, play computer ~ yeah, we might be unschooling but we are not connected.
The Joyfully Rejoycing website has this to say.
I think work and the things we “have” to do tend to expand to fill the time available. And unless that time is scheduled specifically for something, it’s going to get eaten up by “have tos”.
So make your son a “have to”.
One of the problems with parenting (and unschooling) is that no one thing of it seems important enough that it must be done. Obviously the whole thing adds up into a great big something, but there aren’t any immediate deadlines on any one thing. They don’t need a book read to them today. He doesn’t need to go to the park by the end of the week. The “deadline” for parenting feels like it’s years in the future so nothing really needs done right now. But there’s (seemingly!) hundreds of other things that do have very real deadlines.
So create a schedule and deadlines for being with him. Make sure he does get x books read to him (or whatever he likes to do). Make sure he does gets x hours hanging out together to explore freely with you, time that belongs to him even if it doesn’t feel like you’re accomplishing anything. In terms of relationship, it will be accomplishing something for him.
Reminds me to put my kids ( and my dh) on my To Do list!