Now, I don’t actually think there is a crisis in homeschooling. Homeschooled young adults grow up, try new things, make different choices – some good and some not so good. They grow and learn and work on their spiritual journeys. They pray. They fall. They succeed.
This is not a crisis .This growth is part of their development.
I think it can be hard for some parents to let go – to realize that their dreams of “the happy family” and of how their kids should turn out are not what God has in mind for their kids. I know my dh has had to work through this – not that he was forcing his ideas onto the boys but I know he never envisaged us living so far away from our older sons.
The article and discussion have encouraged me to analyze homeschooling . A bit.
I have pondered. As a parent of homeschool graduates and of current homeschoolers, I find that a big part of homeschooling/unschooling older kids is the letting go – they make their own choices, good or bad or okay, and we keep up our relationships and prayers.
My older sons make good choices, but, nevertheless, the choices are their own.
There is no one recipe in parenting or in homeschooling – do this and your kids will turn out like xyz. Nuh, doesn’t work that way.
And maybe this is a crisis for some parents – they find it hard to accept the differences in their young adult sons and daughters.
Homeschooling is no guarantee of success just as attending traditional schools is no guarantee of success.
The real joy of homeschooling/unschooling for me is getting to know each other and sharing interests. I love it when we sit and talk about movies and books – and laugh a lot together. Right now we are on a Stargate kick, watching an episode nearly every night before bed and talking about the series together..
Yes – I know my kids in a different way because of unschooling – and they know me. But we still have differing opinions about some things! Which is cool – they choose , some times differently to that which I would choose, and that is the beauty of unschooling. Working together and appreciating differences.
Family is important, but it is not our idol and eventually kids go and form their own families ( or perhaps join religious communities). Relationships change. We can’t or shouldn’t stop this.
However, we each bring our own experiences to this whole parenting/homeschooling thing.
Dh loves history – and several sons have tapped into this interest.
We don’t necessarily make our kids love what we love, we give them room for their interests – but nevertheless, I see our influence as very strong.
All this makes me ponder – why do we homeschool?
For relationship. Relationship with God, with the Church, with each other, with other people and the community, with ideas and books and music and art and…
We do not educate in isolation.
5. Indeed never has there been so much discussion about education as nowadays; never have exponents of new pedagogical theories been so numerous, or so many methods and means devised, proposed and debated, not merely to facilitate education, but to create a new system infallibly efficacious, and capable of preparing the present generations for that earthly happiness which they so ardently desire.
6. The reason is that men, created by God to His image and likeness and destined for Him Who is infinite perfection realize today more than ever amid the most exuberant material progress, the insufficiency of earthly goods to produce true happiness either for the individual or for the nations. And hence they feel more keenly in themselves the impulse towards a perfection that is higher, which impulse is implanted in their rational nature by the Creator Himself. This perfection they seek to acquire by means of education. But many of them with, it would seem, too great insistence on the etymological meaning of the word, pretend to draw education out of human nature itself and evolve it by its own unaided powers. Such easily fall into error, because, instead of fixing their gaze on God, first principle and last end of the whole universe, they fall back upon themselves, becoming attached exclusively to passing things of earth; and thus their restlessness will never cease till they direct their attention and their efforts to God, the goal of all perfection,..
The Pope continues ~
10. Now in order that no mistake be made in this work of utmost importance, and in order to conduct it in the best manner possible with the help of God’s grace, it is necessary to have a clear and definite idea of Christian education in its essential aspects, viz., who has the mission to educate, who are the subjects to be educated, what are the necessary accompanying circumstances, what is the end and object proper to Christian education according to God’s established order in the economy of His Divine Providence.
11. Education is essentially a social and not a mere individual activity. Now there are three necessary societies, distinct from one another and yet harmoniously combined by God, into which man is born: two, namely the family and civil society, belong to the natural order; the third, the Church, to the supernatural order.
12. In the first place comes the family, instituted directly by God for its peculiar purpose, the generation and formation of offspring; for this reason it has priority of nature and therefore of rights over civil society. Nevertheless, the family is an imperfect society, since it has not in itself all the means for its own complete development; whereas civil society is a perfect society, having in itself all the means for its peculiar end, which is the temporal well-being of the community; and so, in this respect, that is, in view of the common good, it has pre-eminence over the family, which finds its own suitable temporal perfection precisely in civil society.
13. The third society, into which man is born when through Baptism he reaches the divine life of grace, is the Church; a society of the supernatural order and of universal extent; a perfect society, because it has in itself all the means required for its own end, which is the eternal salvation of mankind; hence it is supreme in its own domain.
14. Consequently, education which is concerned with man as a whole, individually and socially, in the order of nature and in the order of grace, necessarily belongs to all these three societies, in due proportion, corresponding, according to the disposition of Divine Providence, to the co-ordination of their respecting ends.
I think we homeschoolers can look at our communities and at our church communities, and work together, co-operate with others, in the education of our children. There is a role for others and our families benefit by the sharing of this work , this joy of being both parent and educator.
FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO, ON THE ROLE OF THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY
IN THE MODERN WORLD ~
36. The task of giving education is rooted in the primary vocation of married couples to participate in God’s creative activity: by begetting in love and for love a new person who has within himself or herself the vocation to growth and development, parents by that very fact take on the task of helping that person effectively to live a fully human life. As the Second Vatican Council recalled, “since parents have conferred life on their children, they have a most solemn obligation to educate their offspring. Hence, parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children. Their role as educators is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it. For it devolves on parents to create a family atmosphere so animated with love and reverence for God and others that a well-rounded personal and social development will be fostered among the children. Hence, the family is the first school of those social virtues which every society needs.”(99)
The right and duty of parents to give education is essential, since it is connected with the transmission of human life; it is original and primary with regard to the educational role of others, on account of the uniqueness of the loving relationship between parents and children; and it is irreplaceable and inalienable, and therefore incapable of being entirely delegated to others or usurped by others.
The encyclical continues ~
40. The family is the primary but not the only and exclusive educating community. Man’s community aspect itself-both civil and ecclesial-demands and leads to a broader and more articulated activity resulting from well-ordered collaboration between the various agents of education. All these agents are necessary, even though each can and should play its part in accordance with the special competence and contribution proper to itself.(104)
The educational role of the Christian family therefore has a very important place in organic pastoral work. This involves a new form of cooperation between parents and Christian communities, and between the various educational groups and pastors… .
The right of parents to choose an education in conformity with their religious faith must be absolutely guaranteed.
The State and the Church have the obligation to give families all possible aid to enable them to perform their educational role properly. Therefore both the Church and the State must create and foster the institutions and activities that families justly demand, and the aid must be in proportion to the families’ needs…
In analyzing our homeschooling, I see the importance of the family, of God, of true Christian education. I also see the need to work with others , including the Church and the civil society.
I love homeschooling, I love the lifestyle and the relationships. I share this with others. Or try to, just by being and talking when asked!
But I acknowledge the freedom of others to choose different educational lifestyles, while still recognizing their role as primary educators.
My homeschool analysis moves to the how tos, the nuts and bolts..
How do we try to form these relationships, take part in our community, share education with others, lead our children in their Faith?
Well, we are still works in progress.
In other words, I dont plan a myriad of things, I look at our days and weeks and see where we can peg in a few important things – for example, starting our chocolate unit stusy last Thursday, with writing sensory detail and finding information about cacoa and where it is grown…. That was our One Thing that I put energy into – yes, we did other things but I wouldn’t have stressed if we didn’t.
Maths and English activities just fit in around our One Thing or our week ( no, we don’t do those in a formal manner, every day).
I used to spend a long time looking for a “core curriculum”, the basis of our homeschooling.
I found it in literature and real life; in our Faith and in following the liturgical year.
And now the kids are older, also in movies.
Add our One Thing and it is simple – but it seems to fit for us…
We do an organic form of seasonal learning – there are no hard and fast rules , so it can differ from year to year. But I do find we do more nature study, for example, in spring and autumn. We do more focused work in winter. Lots of outings and read alouds in summer. We always make a book towards the end of the year, prior to Advent activities.
We also think in blocks of terms – roughly ten weeks. I think of a focus ( or one just comes up) and, although we do other things too, the focus is our One Thing. When I read good ideas I don’t feel guilty that we are not undertaking them right now – we either drop other things for a week or two or I note the ideas down for next term…
We are not pure unschoolers any more but we have an unschooly flow to our days and weeks.
If it is a morning we are home, the kids get up and do their thing ( breakfast, chores, exercise, music). I chat and help and workout and tidy. When we are ready I call people to re-group in the family room or kitchen or dining room.
We pray and talk about the day and plans – the things I’d like them to do and the things they’d like to do.Things I need to do, my work schedule, the work schedule of teens,etc.
Basically, it amounts to “school work” three days a week – maybe four some weeks!
This includes a maths and English activity ( or Latin for Alexander) and perhaps a project – last term we read the Ashton Scholastic My Story books for Australian history and the kids were doing Science reading and an experiment once a week.
We aim for Wednesdays to be a time for Latin and religion study or reading or discussion or activity.
The formal work is not lesson plans or even curricula but more projects and rabbit trails and interests – some initiated by me and some by kids.
The work fits into our days and weeks and continues all year round. We aim not to have a school and non school time but to learn all the time – some times more formally than others…
I think it helps to do a variety of strewing, in a variety of places – books, puzzles, pictures, music CDs, games, recipe and craft stuff, movies, food, activities and outings.
I also found that I had to strew with “no strings attached”. I had to realize that the things I strewed may not catch anyone’s attention except mine and that is okay.
Sometimes, just catching my attention is enough to interest others, too.
For areas that Gerry and I think important, I don’t just strew. I make these a part of our do together time – our “have tos”, as Theresa says.
And now, at the end of my pastoral message, which is intended to draw everyone’s attention to the demanding yet fascinating roles of the Christian family, I wish to invoke the protection of the Holy Family of Nazareth.
Through God’s mysterious design, it was in that family that the Son of God spent long years of a hidden life. It is therefore the prototype and example for all Christian families. It was unique in the world. Its life was passed in anonymity and silence in a little town in Palestine. It underwent trials of poverty, persecution and exile. It glorified God in an incomparably exalted and pure way. And it will not fail to help Christian families-indeed, all the families in the world-to be faithful to their day-to-day duties, to bear the cares and tribulations of life, to be open and generous to the needs of others, and to fulfill with joy the plan of God in their regard. ( Familiaris Consortio)